Please don't use social media to get back at me.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
