I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I did not marry a roomba.
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