so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
