Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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