Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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