dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
