I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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