Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I love having hate sex.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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