I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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