next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
