So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
