hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
