dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
thus making me awesome and them whores
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Im part way to drunk.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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