Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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