Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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