No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
