i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
