All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
