it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
