Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize