they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
