New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
