I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
