my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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