How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize