Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
