New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Randomize
