I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
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During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?