I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He told me they were just razor bumps!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.