mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.