her vagina looked like bernie madoff
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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