Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies don't puke and tell
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize