We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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