Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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