If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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