don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
