Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
