hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min