I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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