This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
