hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
