when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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