She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My vagina is officially offended.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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