You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
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Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
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Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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