Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
We need to rekindle our bromance
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We need to get me chipped asap
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