Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
