Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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