I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize