Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Someone signed my nipple.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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