it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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