Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Is Oprah even human
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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