so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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