I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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