This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
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I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
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I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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