So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
