That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
