I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
A+ Viking dick
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
