The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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