Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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