Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
