respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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