he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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