Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
