I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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