man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
